Saturday, September 09, 2006
9.9.06
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Monday, August 14, 2006
snippets of my life.
i really wanna thank a particular someone.
who helped me clear my mind the past 2days.
ye noe who ye are:) ****
im regretting joining council!
i signed up for mascot duty..
which is to dress up as air stewardess to promote sat's bash.
the bash's at dxo explanade.
sigh..i dun even wanna go to the bash.
firstly,i hv no idea wads happening..
i mean im in events department but hv no idea wads e prog for the night.
apparently there's gonna be a events meeting on wed at 5.15pm
and i dun hv sch on wed!
urgh.
i need to do my 1000word essay to be handed in on fri.
and secondly,i noe deep down my dear boy doesnt want me to go for the bash too.
he says he'd prefer not but i noe he wldnt want me to go.
its a club..so who knows wad ppl are gonna do there.
and anyways its a sat and i want to be with him.
who bothers abt some social gathering.
ah.i gotta think of smt fast.
help!
anyways,i got smt else i need to get done after my proj.
amos!!!
xmas plans and proposal by end of this month..
ohman ohman.
its kinda exciting but i jux dunno where to start.
amos shall be my mentor.
hurhur.
:)
mydear is having check up today.
i hope all goes well w his body.
i noe he's frantically studying for exams..
the only thing i can do is pray and encourge him continuously.
haiya..i dun needa say anything more.
i love him.
pss..Granny's Sizes will be updated this wkend!
stay tune to unique stuff..haha:)
14.8.06
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Saturday, August 05, 2006
its 1am in the morning and i shld really be getting some slp.
but somehow, i really can't be bothered.
coz' tml's a sat w totally no prog.
or at least no prog with ted.
i wonder how life wld be if i were still single..hurhur.
i was just thinking, my life's always abt him.
everything i do is for him,
my time is arranged to fit his,
my commitments are also ranked simply coz i love him so much.
sidetracking: but do ye noe i went for council interview,
and they asked a question on whether ye have other committments,
i gave a 'model' answer..saying,if there's no big event in church,
i prob won't hv any major committments..
but deep down in my heart..
my biggest committment is my r'ship with ted.
hmmm, but somehow ive got this feeling,
that his life's much much much more other than just plain old mingli.
ahh..im seriously rambling.
the past wk has been so tense.
exactly 24hours*7days = 228hours ago,
ted's parents and i were sitting at the visitor lounge waiting for his operation to end.
something tt no one knows,
tt is impt to me..
immediately when he went into the OT,
his mum suggested we shld say a prayer..
and she politely asked me to pray..
which i amazingly did without any hesitation..
i mean, if ye know how i am to my own parents,
this^ praying with another set of parents..
anyways, i can still remember what my prayer was..
and defitinitely GOD answered all of them.
we waited at the visitor lounge fr 1230am-330am
then visited him at the recovery ward..
i totally freaked out when i went to see him..
i called out to him, he answered by nodding and giving faint 'mmms'
then suddenly he spoke 3 words:' hold my hand'
i was totally relieved by then to see tt he's fine or was still in worrying mode,
or dunno what but in my brain i was thinking 'where is his hand?!'
then he lifted his right hand, but i was standing on his left side!
so anyways, i reached out for it..
but it was kinda scary cause' his hand was jux wobbly,
and i can sense im the only one holding on to him..
he didn't hv the strength to hold back.
but then a split second, the machines in front of him started beeping!
and this was all happening simultaneously.
so my mind spoke to me 'don't die!'
i was gg to shout for help already..
but then i called his name again and he responded so 'phew..'
it was so scary, i hate visitor's lounge..
it makes you wait there and think of the life if you lose your love one.
although i was reading shopaholics,which did keep me sane..
and typing all those messages, it had to be like 20 over of them?
to friends we both know..
i even msg'ed ToiletGang..
ye see wad state i was in..
anyways,i really wanted to slp at his ward so tt when he wakes up,
he won't feel lonely..
i mean, after an operation and no one's there with you?
tts jux not right.
but in the end,his mum said i shld slp on his bed at home.
so we went to eat noodles at 4am in the morning before gg back to slp for 2 hours?
i cldnt slp, my heart and soul was still in the hospital with ted..
i jux cldn't..but i managed to doze off at 5am..
luckily justin called me at 7am..
then i wanted to rush down to the hospital myself..
already consulted grace which bus to take and where fr and wad nots..
then,his mum said wait a while and we went tgt in the end.
he told me this 'ordeal' taught him smt..
or rather reminded him..
tt he is slowly drifting away fr God..
i feel that he's not taking good care of himself..
shrugs..i dunno,maybe my thinking is cause' we were brought up so differently.
like how ive always lived with a set of grandparents.
and he always lived with his immediate family..
in my life, ive always been taken good care of..
my granny,aunty,mum..
when im sick, mum will govern the sch issues..
like collecting hw and wad nots.
then even my granny tt im not staying w alr will frequently call to check how im doing..
and when im over at her plc duing wkends,
she wld fix soups or drinks or whatever she thinks that'll do good for me.
i mean, ye have a grandma who listens so attentively to ye..
i rem casually saying why i hafta to wear panty liners daily..
cause' of the puss thingy..
and the next wk immediately she had a remedy for me..
she roasted ginko nuts for me only..
which tasted disgusting but i ate it anyway.
i realise tt im very blessed in my extended family..
even just the 4 of us,
my mum really does everything for me..
i dunno.
maybe its cause' she works at her own time..
i always wished tt ted will be taken good care..
maybe im doing too much for him,
nagging too much.
worrying unnecessarily..
i dunno.
whatever it is, i love him.
i really hate tt we live so far fr each other.
its 1.5 hours to get to each other's hse by public transport.
love knows no boundaries.
hurhur.
ok its 130am now..
and im super tired..
or rather my eyes are tired..
GOODNIGHTS.
and if anyone has the time,
pls go and look at http://grannys_sizes.livejournal.com
5.8.06
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Monday, June 19, 2006
*silly moments of our lives*
19.6.06
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im very very very excited about my own line of jewellery!
i've got some ling-longs fr the flea market at chinatown square today
really happy with my buys=)
will be heading down to arab street one weekday to source for my materials!
really excited abt this entire entrepreneurship thingy=)
no one is supposed to dampen my mood abt this!
~*WARNING*~
yes.its a warning.
let me see what i can do with my hands.
it may be jewellery making for my age now.
and it may switch to cooking and baking at a later age!
won't tt be great?
i always dream of cooking a feast for my family.
from starter to main course to dessert.
fabulous!
i love to have mini parties too.
those finger food and stuffs.
loads of cooking books and choc books lying in the cupboard.
BUT BUT for now, it'll be jewellery making.
the problem is, ive only 300bucks in my bank acct.
im only taking with me 50bucks to arab street.
i think tts okay yea?
i gotta BUDGET everything man!
(sandra ye hear tt? b-u-d-g-e-t!) heex=)
anyways, this is my 2nd last week of freedom before i start schooling again.
the routine and all that.
kinda miss it but i noe ill miss my hols more!
the shopping any time i want,going to anywhere anytime i want,
the meeting up w *the other half* according to his schedules..
guess ill have to adapt to my new life when school starts.
2 buses to get to school.
1hour bus-es ride.
concession for bus.
monthly allowance?!?! (yet to be discussed)
tutorials and lectures to concentrate.
new social life? (or none? hide in my shell?)
bleah.
for now, ill concentrate on my jewellery stuffs!
i rreally hope to continue it when im schooling.
i predict yr1 won't be that busy and tough.
so i wanna make some extra cash selling jewllery too!
till then, wait for my accessories to be up and going=)
toodles!
xXx loves xXx
19.6.06
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Friday, May 12, 2006
ye noe what?
i figured ive always bottled up my own feelings.
never venting them out.
so ive decided to constantly type here so it gets stored here and locked up here too!
yeah.happy with myself.
hmmm..sometimes ive not much to say to my friends coz what i really wanna talk to them abt is *him.
but 1st: would they understand?
2nd: they're not in relationships,i feel they wldnt bother.
3rd: i can't speak well.
4th: if the issue is sad,i don't wish to 're-enact' everything again.it hurts.
5th: i think this list will go on,coz im always making excuses.
ahh!!!
whatever.im happy today coz i get a gathering with ToiletGang and end the day with *him=)yipee.
yest was a day of sadness coz i received a rejection fr NUS and an interview for NIE (which im totally NOT interested!) and last wk i was rejected by SMU.
sooo..that leaves me with nothing.
wadever..ill plan for my future next mon when all the schools admission lines are open!make calls.
ok..gotta go meet TG!
smiles.
12.5.06
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Wednesday, February 01, 2006
a worrier
a failure
a pathetic one
an unhappy one
an always down one
a bad grandchild
a bad daughter
a bad friend
an even worse girlfriend.
ME.
---------------------------------------------
im in the office alone.
don't even know where my director is.
im picking up calls, arranging lessons, calling ppl..
jux for the sake of doing them.
on the verge of crying coz im feeling so miserable.
i can't msg you nor say anything normal now.
save me.
1.2.06
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Thursday, December 01, 2005
here's the link:
http://sg.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/oxymoron_ml/album?.dir=1937&.src=ph&store=&prodid=&.done=http%3a//sg.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/oxymoron_ml/my_photos
1.12.05
